Don’t Ask Me to Explain. You Just Have to See This Photo of Macaulay Culkin.


(Knock knock)

“Who’s there?”

“Pizza.”

“Pizza who?”

“Pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band Pizza Underground.”

“What?”

“I said, we’re Pizza Underground. We’re a…hey, can you hear me through this thing? Look, maybe you should open the door.”

“No, no, I can hear you fine. Did you say you were a pizza-themed cover band?”

“A pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band, yes. Have you heard of the Velvet Underground?”

“And what are you selling?”

“Well, nothing, really. I mean, I guess technically we’re selling pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover songs.”

“I think you have the wrong house.”

“No, look, you know Macaulay Culkin?”

“My family is just sitting down to dinner. I really don’t have time for this.”

“Macaulay Culkin? The actor? Home Alone, The Good Son? You know him?”

“Yes, I know of Macaulay Culkin.”

“He’s with us! He’s in the band.”

“Please. I don’t want to have to call the police.”

“No, look, I’m going to slide this photo under the door, ok? (slides photo under door) You see that? That’s a photo of Macaulay Culkin wearing a shirt with a picture of Ryan Gosling wearing a shirt with a picture of Macaulay Culkin on it.”

“Now does that not blow your mind?”

“Sir?”

“Sir??”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, it blows my mind.

“OK…OK! Now we’re cooking with fire! So, how about it, friend? You want to open the door and let us in? It’s freezing out here.”

“Yeah…yeah, OK. (begins unlocking door) Honey, could you make up some more spots at the table? A pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band is going to be joining us for dinner…Don’t ask me to explain. You just have to see this photo of Macaulay Culkin.”

The End.

(via Bullett Media)

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REAL QUICK, REAL URGENT

Minority rule, corruption, disinformation, attacks on those who dare tell the truth: There is a direct line from what's happening in Russia and Ukraine to what's happening here at home. And that's what MoJo's Monika Bauerlein writes about in "Their Fight Is Our Fight" to unpack the information war we find ourselves in and share a few examples to show why the power of independent, reader-supported journalism is such a threat to authoritarians.

Corrupt leaders the world over can (and will) try to shut down the truth, but when the truth has millions of people on its side, you can't keep it down for good. And there's no more powerful or urgent argument for your support of Mother Jones' journalism right now than that. We need to raise about $450,000 to hit our online fundraising budget in these next few months, so please read more from Monika and pitch in if you can.

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