April 17, 2013

We All Scream For Wayne LaPierre’s Ice Cream

From my cold, dead, sticky hands…Pete Marovich/ZUMAPress (LaPierre); <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-117043192/stock-photo-four-flavors-ice-cream-with-cone-on-white-background.html">M. Unal Ozmen</a>/Shutterstock (ice cream)

Fight disinformation: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter and follow the news that matters.


Among the revelations in last weekend’s New York Times profile of National Rifle Association chief executive Wayne LaPierre was this delicious nugget: “His fantasy,” according to a former colleague, “was to retire from the NRA and open an ice cream shop in Maine.” Should LaPierre ever beat his swords into ice cream scoops, here are a few suggestions for flavors that will set him apart from Ben & Jerry’s:

Second Amendmint

S’more Guns, Less Crime

Glocky Road

Concealed Carry Garcia

Mmmmmm-16

Stand Your Grounds (with real espresso beans!)

Jamoca Ammo Fudge

Freeze, M*****f*****!

Shall Not Be In-Fridged

Banana Clip Chip

License to Chill

Jackfruited Thugs (exotic sorbet flavor)

Wayne Swirled

What, no hand-packed pints of Gun Nut? The Star Spangled Ice Cream company beat him to it a decade ago—and even scored an endorsement from NRA board member Ted Nugent.

GREAT JOURNALISM, SLOW FUNDRAISING

Our team has been on fire lately—publishing sweeping, one-of-a-kind investigations, ambitious, groundbreaking projects, and even releasing “the holy shit documentary of the year.” And that’s on top of protecting free and fair elections and standing up to bullies and BS when others in the media don’t.

Yet, we just came up pretty short on our first big fundraising campaign since Mother Jones and the Center for Investigative Reporting joined forces.

So, two things:

1) If you value the journalism we do but haven’t pitched in over the last few months, please consider doing so now—we urgently need a lot of help to make up for lost ground.

2) If you’re not ready to donate but you’re interested enough in our work to be reading this, please consider signing up for our free Mother Jones Daily newsletter to get to know us and our reporting better. Maybe once you do, you’ll see it’s something worth supporting.

payment methods

GREAT JOURNALISM, SLOW FUNDRAISING

Our team has been on fire lately—publishing sweeping, one-of-a-kind investigations, ambitious, groundbreaking projects, and even releasing “the holy shit documentary of the year.” And that’s on top of protecting free and fair elections and standing up to bullies and BS when others in the media don’t.

Yet, we just came up pretty short on our first big fundraising campaign since Mother Jones and the Center for Investigative Reporting joined forces.

So, two things:

1) If you value the journalism we do but haven’t pitched in over the last few months, please consider doing so now—we urgently need a lot of help to make up for lost ground.

2) If you’re not ready to donate but you’re interested enough in our work to be reading this, please consider signing up for our free Mother Jones Daily newsletter to get to know us and our reporting better. Maybe once you do, you’ll see it’s something worth supporting.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate