Caption Contest Challenge: Evil Nixon

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Rapid City, South Dakota—See that there? That’s our 37th president, Richard Milhous Nixon. And while you can’t see it in this photo, he’s actually sitting right across from a 24-hour Hardee’s just off Main Street in southwest South Dakota’s largest metropolitan area. 

Since Rapid City fancies itself as the gateway to the Black Hills, its street corners are decorated with statues of all the presidents who didn’t make it up onto the side of the big mountain. Calvin Coolidge is there, holding a saddle for some reason. So are Herbert Hoover and John Quincy Adams. It’s Mount Rushmore’s Island of Misfit Toys.

So what’s even going on in this photo? Why is Nixon smiling like that? Why are his hands clasped? What’s up with the menacing lizards just below the arm rests? Why is he flashing so much ankle? Did he just put a hit out on McGovern or something? What is the deal?

I have no idea, but maybe you do. Send us your best caption ideas in the comments, or ping me @timothypmurphy, and I’ll post the winner later today.

The winner gets…his/her entry posted. Sorry, guys; we’re on a budget here.

Profile shot below the jump, in case this one didn’t do it for you.

Update: We have winner: “Release the hounds, Smithers,” from commenter Eric Dana. I would also have accepted “Bring me the muggle, Nagini.”

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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