Kmart’s Abstinence Pants Maker Says: Yes You Can!

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Yes, I said “abstinence pants.” Kmart in-house designer Piper & Blue has jazzed up this year’s summer collection with a pair of sweatpants for teen girls that say “True Love Waits” in your choice of colored bubble letters. No, there is no corresponding set for boys.

But there is an official Piper & Blue designers’ blog that lets you know how you should be thinking about your summer couture. And maybe it’s just me, but some of the suggestions seem a little risque for the True Love Waits crowd. “Top garments like coats and jackets are what an onlooker sees first,” warns the blog. What do they see next? Well, if you wear their “football jersey,” that would be “a casual outfit that’s super stylish and easily accessible!” Easily accessible? Uh oh. “These days, you don’t need a bank account like Britney’s to get Lindsay’s look.” You, too, can model your style on two of our culture’s pillars of Christian morality. That particular post is entitled, “Hollywood Glam? Yes You Can!”

Though brimming with advice, the blog is sadly silent on the topic of the abstinence pants. It does, however, justify its similar, albeit less-political sweatpants: “By pairing a cute tee with embellished sweats, you’ll look ready for action, not bed.” I’ll leave interpreting that to you all, in the comments.

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