DC Representation Fails in Senate, Mitch McConnell Explains Himself to Space Aliens

Fight disinformation: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter and follow the news that matters.


A cloture vote in the Senate just moments ago on whether or not D.C. residents will get congressional representation ended up with 57 Ayes and 42 Nos, meaning Democrats and moderate Republicans weren’t able to find the 60 votes needed to overcome a filibuster organized by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. The citizens of DC will go without representation in Congress for another year, possibly two. For background, see my piece that published yesterday.

Here’s my rendition of Mitch McConnell explaining this situation to a space alien.

McConnell: Wow, an alien.
Space alien: Mitch, we have abducted you because you are the most powerful man in the most powerful legislative body of the most robust democracy on Planet Earth.
McConnell: Oh, news must travel slow through outer space. You want Harry Reid.
Space alien: What?
McConnell: Forget it. Can I help you with something?
Space alien: Yes. We want an explanation of how your government works. Does everyone get representation in your national body?
McConnell: Um, no.
Space alien: Ah, only land-owning males of the dominant tribe or race are allowed to vote for their representatives.
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Any male of the dominant tribe or race, regardless of property ownership?
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Any male, regardless of tribe?
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Any male or female?
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Quite admirable, Mitch. Everyone of legal age can have a representative in your Congress?
McConnell: Everyone except the citizens of one city.
Space alien: Which city?
McConnell: Our capital city.
Space alien: Heavens to murgatroid! Surely they don’t pay taxes in this arrangement.
McConnell: They do.
Space alien: Surely they do not fight in your wars.
McConnell: They do.
Space alien: And how do you justify this?
McConnell: …
Space alien: Mitch?
McConnell: …
Space alien: Surely you are doing something to end this unjust and obviously undemocratic arrangement.
McConnell: Actually, I just filibustered to maintain the status quo.
Space alien: …

Updates: Here’s your roll call. Republicans who voted with the Dems: Hatch (UT), Bennett (UT), Collins (ME), Snowe (ME), Coleman (MN), Lugar (IN), and Specter (PA). Democrat Max Baucus of Montana voted with the Republicans.

Update Update: The Plank slaps Baucus around for his incredibly stupid rational for voting against.

DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate