Vote ponies and ice cream

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Why settle for one of those indistinguishable corporate droids, Bush and Gore, when you have alternatives? And no, we don’t mean third-party wanna-bes like Nader and Buchanan, either. We’re talking fourth, fifth, eighth, and twenty-seventh parties, all of them listed for your electoral illumination by DC’S POLITICAL REPORT.

If you like your candidates boring, nobody does it like the Boring Party (“What America needs as we enter the new century is a president they can ignore with impunity.”) For a clear vision, try the National Barking Spider Resurgence Party (“We will work to make government large, difficult to fathom, and somewhat cumbersome, but efficient enough to keep the voters satisfied, or at least placidly confused.”) And, obviously responding to concerns about the other candidates’ characters, the Dopeycrat Party is working hard to put a basset hound in the White House.

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If you’re having trouble finding a candidate who meets your world domination needs, don’t miss the Expansionist Party, which pledges to push back US borders and peacefully unite the world, whether it likes it or not. After studying the platform of the Pansexual Peace Party we still don’t know what they’re out to accomplish, but a “Vote for pleasure” can’t be wrong, can it? And there’s simply nothing not to like about the Free Pony and Ice Cream Party.

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REAL QUICK, REAL URGENT

Minority rule, corruption, disinformation, attacks on those who dare tell the truth: There is a direct line from what's happening in Russia and Ukraine to what's happening here at home. And that's what MoJo's Monika Bauerlein writes about in "Their Fight Is Our Fight" to unpack the information war we find ourselves in and share a few examples to show why the power of independent, reader-supported journalism is such a threat to authoritarians.

Corrupt leaders the world over can (and will) try to shut down the truth, but when the truth has millions of people on its side, you can't keep it down for good. And there's no more powerful or urgent argument for your support of Mother Jones' journalism right now than that. We need to raise about $450,000 to hit our online fundraising budget in these next few months, so please read more from Monika and pitch in if you can.

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