SNL Just Got Medieval on Justice Alito’s Abortion Views

“No need to update this one at all! They nailed it back in 1235!”

"I was outside watching the sheriff throw left-handed children into the river and I couldn’t help but overhear you talking about a new law."Will Heath/NBC/Getty

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The big topic on last night’s Saturday Night Live, surprising absolutely no one, was the Supreme Court. For its cold open, the show took aim at Justice Samuel Alito’s now-infamous leaked draft opinion, which would overturn the abortion rights enshrined in Roe v. Wade

Alito’s extremely dubious reasoning is based on an ahistorical rendering of abortion as fundamentally inconsistent with American “history and tradition.” As my colleague Becca Andrews smartly pointed out, that simplistic formulation ignores the history of abortion and reproductive care among indigenous American women, let alone enslaved Black women and other women in the colonial era.

The SNL cast, noting that Alito’s opinion relied on a “treatise from 13th-century England,” turned back the clock to “that profound moment of moral clarity, almost a thousand years ago, which laid such a clear foundation for what our laws should be in 2022.” In a vaguely medieval setting, three men (Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Dismukes, and actually-good Trump impersonator James Austin Johnson) debate the appropriate punishment for abortion—until a woman played by Cecily Strong intercedes. Although she still hasn’t hit “the child-bearing age of 12,” she insists that women deserve “the right to choose.”

The three dudes are less than receptive to that incredibly popular idea. Instead, says Cumberbatch’s character, expectant mothers should simply receive maternity leave—”when you’re done with 20 years of continuous maternity, you can leave!”

Watch the rest of the sketch here

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

payment methods

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