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I’m not American. I’m still learning things about this great country. That America fought a big war of independence, however, is not one of them. It’s in the immigrant starter-pack. America cancelled the monarchy long ago, in the pre-Twitter national dawn of 1776, from which much pride, and a whole day off work, is derived.

So it was puzzling to learn that the great defenders of American patriotism are feeling queasy these days about the long-term survival of the poor sods helming the same monarchy that was once defeated in such glorious battle.

What did it take for this historical tide to turn in the favor of the tyrants, the oppressors of liberty? A single accusation of racism by a woman of color.

If you’re finding yourself with nothing to do next Thursday, be sure to tune into a virtual event hosted by the Heritage Foundation, the policy think tank, with the hyperventilating title, “The Crown Under Fire: Why the Left’s Campaign to Cancel the Monarchy and Undermine a Cornerstone of Western Democracy Will Fail.” The event promises to explain how “the American radical left has seized upon the claims from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, that the Royal Family created a hostile, racist environment for the couple” to launch an attack on the British monarchy, and in turn, the very ideals of Western Civilization itself. Will they stop at nothing?!

This enemy-of-my-enemy contortion act isn’t isolated. Our friends over at Refinery29 have documented a vast cast of rightwing notables fawning over the monarchy, including Megyn Kelly, Charlie Kirk, Ben Shapiro, and Erick Erickson.

I know I am still just student of American history (from a country that has yet to fully shirk the monarchy, no less) but I never thought the rhetorical outgrowth of the Mr. Potato Head Gender Scandal would be tearing up the Declaration of Independence to own the libs?

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