December 24, 2020

If 2021 Is Not Way Better Than 2020, We Should Fire Santa

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Ho ho ho and merry Christmas (Eve)! 

Have you put out the milk and cookies for jolly ol’ Saint Nick? No, of course not. I’m glad you didn’t. You shouldn’t have. I didn’t. In this economy? Cookies and milk for the head of state of the North Pole? Who can fly and has a magic workshop capable of turning out billions of individualized toys every year? He can get his own milk and cookies.

I’ll go further, it seems like given this magic person’s power that he actually isn’t doing enough for us normal humans. For starters: the gifts should become a universal entitlement. No more targeted “gifts for good Christian children.” No matter your religion, no matter your age, and to be honest, no matter how good you have or haven’t been—who is he to judge us? Who elected him?—Santa owes you a gift. 

2) Those elves should be putting some of their magic powers towards solving climate change and cancer. 

3) Santa’s sleigh must be turned over to the United States and NATO so we can have our scientists find further applications for the flying technology. If, as legend says, the reindeer are the magical element “pulling” the sleigh, then we will need to examine the reindeer. They will need to be studied. They will not be harmed! But they must be studied. But you have my word they won’t be harmed! The sleigh and the reindeer will be returned eventually. 

If these demands are not met immediately then we will be forced to actually go to war on Christmas. 

What else is happening in the world today? As you may know, a few days ago Donald Trump threatened to veto the COVID aid package and demanded that Congress raise the one-time check payments from $600 to $2,000. Democrats quickly agreed to this because they had been pushing for that the whole time. Nancy Pelosi attempted to pass it in the House today with unanimous consent, a procedure which, as the name implies, can be stopped by any single congressperson. And that’s what happened! Republicans said no and the motion failed. Maybe they should talk to Trump, the leader of their party? Maybe Trump should talk to them? Maybe someone should talk to someone?

On Monday, the House is going to take it up again under different rules. At this point, everything seems to be completely up in the air.

I hope you have a very nice Christmas Eve! And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a very nice Thursday!

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Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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