The 5 Biggest Bros and 5 Biggest Hipsters in Congress

Paul Ryan vs. Rosa Delauro. Kegs vs. kombucha. Bowhunting vs. bow ties. Meet the Hill’s frattiest and funkiest members.

THE BRO CAUCUS

 

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.): The former high school prom king, Delta Tau Delta frat boy, Randian, bowhunter, and catfish noodler has led P90X workouts in Congress and sponsored (unsuccessful) tax breaks for brewers, distillers, and boozers.

 

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.): While going stag at a South Beach foam party, Rubio realized his wife-to-be, an ex-Miami Dolphins cheerleader, was his soul mate. During a vodka shot competition on a 1996 Bob Dole campaign flight, he booted in front of future colleague Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.).

 

Rep. Sean Duffy (R-Wis.): During his 1997 stint on MTV’s Real World, the future tea partier napped while attending a speech by President Bill Clinton and also danced and drank beer atop a pool table in his underwear.

Sean Duffy

 

Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.): The first member of Congress to ever bare his rock-hard six-pack on the cover of Men’s Health, Schock once complimented first lady Michelle Obama for her “buff” guns.

Aaron Schock Men's Health cover

 

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.): He’s buds with Van Halen lead singer Sammy Hagar, and his office is lined with surfboards, booze posters, and a bust of John Wayne, who Rohrabacher says taught him how to drink tequila (small glass, ice cube, lime squeeze). He dismissed American interrogators’ use of panties to pressure terrorism suspects as “hazing pranks.”

 

THE HIPSTER CAUCUS

 

Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn.): Her signature look, which has included a Spock ‘do with red streaks, horn-rimmed glasses, and combat boots, inspired the Rosa DeLauro Is a Fucking Hipster Tumblr. Asked about it, the gentlewoman from Connecticut cheerfully replied, “People can call me whatever they want to call me.”

 

Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.): Pro-bike before it was cool, the rep from Portlandia founded the Congressional Bike Caucus in 1996. Trademark look: bow ties and bicycle-shaped, neon-hued lapel pins.

 

Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.): When Cyndi Lauper stopped by Polis’ office last spring, he served her some of the Colorado-crafted High Country Kombucha his office orders by the case. His 2009 staff retreat included yoga, a scavenger hunt, and a vegan dinner at his home (he and his partner make their own nut cheese).

Jared Polis, Cindi Lauper and Polis' staff
 

Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D-Ariz.): A bisexual nontheist who doesn’t own a TV and used to work out of coffee shops before getting elected, Sinema oversold her hipster cred when she dissed stay-at-home moms for “leeching off their husbands…That’s bullshit.”

Kyrsten Sinema

 

Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.): Then: ironic comedian who mocked earnestness (e.g., Stuart Smalley). Now: earnest wonk who hosts a mildly ironic annual Minnesota hot dish cook-off.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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