Can Someone Please Direct Me to the Nearest Black Hole?

Metzel Mikhail/TASS via ZUMA

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I’ve spent the weekend watching a little football, catching up on some Netflix, playing frisbee golf, and not really keeping tabs on the news very much. Apparently, while I was failing to pay attention, I was transported through a warp in the space-time continuum where, it turns out:

We are no longer talking about whether Donald Trump likes Vladimir Putin a little more than you’d expect.

We are no longer talking about whether Trump’s campaign received dirt on Hillary Clinton from Russian sources.

We are no longer talking about whether Trump has obstructed justice during the Mueller probe of Russia.

Instead, we are talking—seriously, mind you—about whether the president of the United States is an asset of Russian intelligence.

Perhaps this is normal here on Earth-457-ℵ? I’m not sure. But I’d like to get back to my own earth, and I’m wondering if anyone can point me to a local nano-black-hole centrifuge or whatever it is you folks use to travel between dimensions. Any help would be much appreciated.

WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

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And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

payment methods

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