If You Are Buying Pumpkin Spice Protein Powder, You Should Just Give Up

Here are the year’s worst autumnal products.

Kichigin Aleksandr/123RF

Facts matter: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter. Support our nonprofit reporting. Subscribe to our print magazine.

In case you haven’t noticed, pumpkin spice flavoring is no longer relegated to your Starbuck’s latte: You can now find pumpkin spiced peanut butter, dog biscuits, and even deodorant. If the trend is starting to make you feel nauseous, Washington Post reporter Maura Judkis, a recent guest on our podcast Bite, has some good news for you. “This year could be the beginning of the end of the pumpkin spice party,” Judkis wrote in her essay “I used every pumpkin spice product I could find for a week. Now my armpits smell like nutmeg.”

According to data analysts at Nielsen, Judkis reports, while pumpkin spice products grew by 20 percent in 2013 over the previous year, this year saw only 6 percent in annual growth.

On Bite, Judkis schools us on the best and the worst pumpkin spice products, speculates on the up-and-coming autumnal flavor, and explains why the pumpkin spice latte became the symbol of the “basic bitch.”  

And because we couldn’t help ourselves, here’s our list of the year’s most ridiculous pumpkin spice products. 

Native Pumpkin Spice Latte deodorant

AI Sports Pumpkin Pie Whey Protein powder

Jif Whips: Whipped Peanut Butter and Pumpkin Pie Spice

Greenies Pumpkin Spice Flavor dog teething biscuits

Kahlúa Pumpkin Spice

Burnett’s Pumpkin Spice Vodka 

Farmers’ Market Natural Pumpkin Spice bar soap

Showseason Pumpkin Spice Pet Shampoo

Rossi Pasta’s Pumpkin Spice Fettuccini Pasta

Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

Bonus: Read Mother Jones editor Ben Dreyfuss’s piece on whether pumpkin is actually an ingredient in any of these products. 

REAL QUICK, REAL URGENT

Minority rule, corruption, disinformation, attacks on those who dare tell the truth: There is a direct line from what's happening in Russia and Ukraine to what's happening here at home. And that's what MoJo's Monika Bauerlein writes about in "Their Fight Is Our Fight" to unpack the information war we find ourselves in and share a few examples to show why the power of independent, reader-supported journalism is such a threat to authoritarians.

Corrupt leaders the world over can (and will) try to shut down the truth, but when the truth has millions of people on its side, you can't keep it down for good. And there's no more powerful or urgent argument for your support of Mother Jones' journalism right now than that. We need to raise about $450,000 to hit our online fundraising budget in these next few months, so please read more from Monika and pitch in if you can.

payment methods

REAL QUICK, REAL URGENT

Minority rule, corruption, disinformation, attacks on those who dare tell the truth: There is a direct line from what's happening in Russia and Ukraine to what's happening here at home. And that's what MoJo's Monika Bauerlein writes about in "Their Fight Is Our Fight" to unpack the information war we find ourselves in and share a few examples to show why the power of independent, reader-supported journalism is such a threat to authoritarians.

Corrupt leaders the world over can (and will) try to shut down the truth, but when the truth has millions of people on its side, you can't keep it down for good. And there's no more powerful or urgent argument for your support of Mother Jones' journalism right now than that. We need to raise about $450,000 to hit our online fundraising budget in these next few months, so please read more from Monika and pitch in if you can.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate