The Uterus Monologues: Limericks From Our Readers

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A week ago, the Florida GOP scolded Rep. Scott Randolph (D-Orlando) when he used the word “uterus” on the statehouse floor. We at Mother Jones couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the word, and why it wasn’t deemed worthy for public. So Jen Phillips penned a limerick in response, calling on readers to post their own reactions to the Florida GOP’s buffoonery. Here are some of our favorites:

 

 

From Active Peacemaker:

A Florida Rep. shouted with rage,
“We can’t use those words near a page.
I’m convinced by my work
We were brought by the Stork!”
Now please put that Rep. back in his cage. 

 deanz:

There once was a party so grand
It thought it would give God a hand
By helping her tutor us
on words hardly new to us
but soon She’ll be having *them* banned

 To Womb it May Concern:

The word uterus is naughty, you see
Not for use in polite company
They’ve deprived half the nation
Of sex education
Now it burns whene’er they GO P.

While demagogues Stately and Clerical,
encourage their gals to get spherical
they won’t lessen its stature
with crass nomenclature
to use Uterus makes them hysterical.

Amy Sharp

So they think that uterus is offensive…
it is time to get down down off the fences
to hold hands and skip
to the beat of something hip
and get the country back to its sense

Valerie Hope Starr

I’d quiver to think what they’d to us
dare we mention that naughty word uterus
we can pillage, rape, maim but not mention that name
of the place whence we came fore you knew of us

Jim Bazen

Some words are a source of dissension.
They require a thorough preemption.
Now the Reps are all riled
’bout the fetus who filed
A uterine homestead exemption.

Brenda Cummings

The Republicans don’t like my uterus.
Revelations like these aren’t new to us.
They don’t care for humanity,
They’ve lost their sanity—
We ALL came from one—unum e pluribus?

Thepink Pantsuit

To reject a word such as uterus
I find nothing short of ludicrous
Does not the blessing of birth
Define a woman’s self-worth
What more can the GOP to do us?

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Democracy and journalism are in crisis mode—and have been for a while. So how about doing something different?

Mother Jones did. We just merged with the Center for Investigative Reporting, bringing the radio show Reveal, the documentary film team CIR Studios, and Mother Jones together as one bigger, bolder investigative journalism nonprofit.

And this is the first time we’re asking you to support the new organization we’re building. In “Less Dreading, More Doing,” we lay it all out for you: why we merged, how we’re stronger together, why we’re optimistic about the work ahead, and why we need to raise the First $500,000 in online donations by June 22.

It won’t be easy. There are many exciting new things to share with you, but spoiler: Wiggle room in our budget is not among them. We can’t afford missing these goals. We need this to be a big one. Falling flat would be utterly devastating right now.

A First $500,000 donation of $500, $50, or $5 would mean the world to us—a signal that you believe in the power of independent investigative reporting like we do. And whether you can pitch in or not, we have a free Strengthen Journalism sticker for you so you can help us spread the word and make the most of this huge moment.

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